i gotta admit.

it's scary to give consent under notification of the worst case scenario/s.

those that could take place during or after surgery.

i did waver a little.

but i remembered that isolated feeling as i watched others dance. i remembered dancing in my dreams, basking in the limelight. i remembered intentionally avoiding dance, thinking that it would perhaps help to ease my pain. i remembered the times i broke down because of the disability to dance. i remembered feeling abandoned.

it's not something that i could just give up. it's my life. it's me.

so i said yes.

surgery date is on 1st feb 2011.

and i'll be spending CNY and 23rd birthday on crutches.

one of a kind birthday!

and of course, i'll make sure i've a good time from end of exams till then

including phuket trip from 18th Jan to 20th Jan 2011.

after that, journey of recovery and journey back to my love.

can't wait.

:)