now i just wanna get a job to be away u understand?
now i just wanna get a job to get away from stress radiator u understand?
now i just wanna get a job to get really independent u understand?

i feel so happy to go out.
because whenever i stay at home u'll start blabbering abt my past mistakes, my blunders, my ancient wounds and everything negative.
just everything negative.
nothing positive.
reduced me to some useless torn and worn out puppet.

i will be if u keep on pushing.
and pushing
and pushing

all those redundant acts.

i dun need to be reminded of my wrongdoings.
althought i dun show it, athough i might try to hide it,
it's always there. and i know it. i dun need reminders.
they hurt me more than they hurt u.
coz it's me.
why must u ripped it off and display it so blatantly?
like some aftermath of massacre, head on a stick.
are u sure u like to see the bloody scene?

sometimes u just let it all out on me without mercy when u're simply angry w smtg else that has absolutely null to do with me
is that fair?
for me to take it all?
just because...

why can't i stay home with peace and quiet...

sometimes i feel so at ease out in the crowd...
the serenity that i cant get here...
out there... in a world of my own...
where i can cry without trying to put up a facade...
where it's quiet and nobody will care...
where i can treat my wounds silently...
where i can...