Sunday, September 03, 2006
pls. pls. pls. pls dun think that u really understand me. pls dun think that u noe everything abt me. pls dun think dat im a "daughter" cell and u noe everything abt me. pls dun think dat when i said im full and u said im not means dat im not full im NOT controlled by u im not a remote controlled machine when i said dat im full means im full and forcing me with food juz casues me to wolf it up quickly before i puke in front of u. i dun live to satisfy u i live to satisfy my own life while perhaps enriching urs but dat doesn't mean dat i've to follow everything dat u want me to do. sometimes i do it coz i respect u and dun want to make u sad. i noe u sacrifice a lot but i contributed as well.

something to add, although i've never said so, i love u no matter wad. coz u r forever my only one.

and u too.


sometimes when ppl make fun of me or laugh at me, i dun retaliate or say anything. but it doesn't mean dat e words dun penetrate and hurt. at e end of e day, i always come to doubt myself, no matter how much i attempt to treat e injuries, be it major or minor, in clandestine. i noe dat wad others think abt me is not impt. but i realised a limit to my self-confidence and self-esteem when others comment abt me. u must admit dat im still a girl nevertheless and there are times when im fragile.

at e same time i feel very stuck-in-e-middle as well. coz i love to hear ur laughter, put a smile on ur faces. but at times when im not feeling dat "high" and maybe in pit-bottom mood, i juz cant afford to smile/laugh right from e heart with u all. pardon me for my inability to act till e end... perhaps everything shld be left unspoken. perhaps u will feel better. but some things may turn out better for e one who speaks up.

ah. luan luan luan.

guess im really gonna have a not-so-good day today.

dob: 11-02-1988
The Negative @
city: singapore