Wednesday, June 14, 2006
A sudden fear seized me.

Mum is going to send her off to a vet.

To terminate her life.

To end her sufferings.

She hasn't been barking, showering welcomes, eating, drinking or move around much. She just keeps on sleeping her days off. Her body odour is getting from bad to worse. She's been tearing all days long.

But she never fails to get up (with difficulty) and goes to my mum's bedside whenever she takes an afternoon nap. She never fails to be a good company. She never fails to be a good old greedy dog.

I remember. The days when I was only 5 and she was only 1. I used to play around with her using a lego box. She always steal my jigsaw pieces and watches and chew delightfully on them. She always hides under the fridge whenever she does smtg wrong and mum and dad chase after her.

The memories with her fade as the yrs passed. But I'll never forget how much I love her. How good a dog she is. How much joy and laughter as well as anger and disappointment she has brought to this family. How much we're all going to miss her.

I used to think that when it comes to this day, I will not cry. I will not be sad. I will not be guilty.

Now I realised how wrong I was.

She has been in my life since the age of 4. Now I'm 18. She's 14. I really thought she could at least last a yr more. Till her next birthday.

But she can't.

I know she has tried her best. I know that God is going to take her away. Just like how God takes all dogs away from us eventually.

I used to take her presence for granted. I used to see that she will accompany me through my growing yrs. I used to think that she'll be able to accompany me through all the big tests. Be it emotional barriers, academic tests and dance exams. And this yr, before A levels and my last dance examination, she's going to leave.

But I won't fail you.

I have no idea if I'll have the courage to go to the vet with you. But if I can't, pls forgive me.
dob: 11-02-1988
The Negative @
city: singapore