Monday, December 06, 2004

Wad can I say?

An isolated woman in the opposite isolated ancient flat
Smoking incessantly
A girl in the opposite new building which is bustling with activities
Staring at me
Abandoned individuals in this realm
Sometimes I do wish I've a simple mind just with the ability to come up with simple thoughts... Enough for me to survive in this world.
But I'm not blessed with that.
However, to think of it another way.
Brains are for thinking not just simple stuff.
I'm a little glad... Somehow, that the grooves of my brain are not for simple stuff only.
Thank you parents, for giving me this brain.
When words are of no use,
silence may be the best way out
Ok wad on earth are e reasons for all these sadness and sorrows yesterday? Wad can I say honestly?

In nursery, kindergarten (or kiddy garden wadsoeva), primary school (TPS) and secondary school (NYGH), all these schools that witness my growth till now, thank you and I love you all. I really enjoy my days with most and almost all of my friends and teachers. Thank you for the precious company dat u all have granted me I love it all.

All my friends, please please please convince me that I'm quite nice and amiable and am on good terms with almost everyone? Esp. the good terms part... Coz I really really really doubt that when I'm here in DES. I'm not afraid to spell it out coz I guess it's sorta a known fact. I've told my close friends before. I really dun feel like myself here in DES. It's like why on earth do I not have the freedom to be my true self here in DES? I really feel free and happy around with all my other friends.

Honestly I've never known the feeling of being ostracized so should I say thank you to ppl in DES coz u really grant me the chance to experience that feeling? It's not a happy feeling like duh who will be happy when they are being ostracized? Which is why I often sink into this deep pit of sorrows whenever I'm in DES. Tell me, can u blame me totally for that?

I'm not shirking away from my responsibility for this coz I believe that for a 2 party issue both parties have a part to play for a mistake caused. Perhaps it's because of my constant staring out of the windows? I juz like to see the outside world etc... And sometimes my inability to join in ur discussion? Coz honestly I'm not very "in" for boys issue, magazines issue, stars issue, brands issue, girls issue (as in u noe bras and breas*s) etc etc. Coz among my other friends we dun really talk abt all these. And maybe some of my comments and retortions? But strangely I'm kinda sensitive and often think before I comment... And also sometimes comments made by ppl there in e place which I mentioned juz now towards me or certain issues are REALLY TOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR ME TO TAKE!

I've been overseas with them before... However it seems that I've never gone those places with them before as whatever happened there I never seem to know. Honestly ppl who know me am I that anti-social?! According to me I'm not... But really... I... Have no idea wad to say

I always complained to Charms, why why why am I here in that place? And she said to me, seems that u really dislike that place... then why do u stay?

I've no idea.

Ppl here are very scary. They change constantly... As and when they like. Their attitudes towards ppl and various issues... It's really scary. I live in constant fear nowadays as I'm there almost everyday. Which is why I told my close friends before that I dread the arrival of holidays.

Ppl come and ppl leave... I've seen so many ppl joining this association and seen so many departures, out of mere disappointment. They're ppl like me... Whom I can really communicate with. Now... I'm the only one left fighting the battle.

Just a matter of time... It's testing my limited patience and tolerance... I've really a very great level of both... Otherwise I won't be able to survive till now

We shall see.

I would like a digital camera for Christmas present...

~Making a silent wish~

dob: 11-02-1988
The Negative @
city: singapore