Last time...
Ok I noe it's weird... Kinda mood swing... Yesterday seemed to be such a happy day.... But today... The cynical side of me showed itself...
Today, 15th of Aug 2004, my last day in DES, my temporary retirement starting next week... Or rather today... Now... Retirement from DES. Wonder... I really wonder... Why on earth do I feel so stressed up at DES? There's not much competition in terms of academic and stuff... But why will stress choose to pester me especially when I'm there? In DES? This is really strange...
I think i noe why... Everyone there... Everyone... Expects me to do very well for my Os... Will I? I really dunno... Who noes what on earth will happen? Only future noes it... But no one can predict future... All the showers of comments... What 你一定可以的啦！And all kinda useless comments... For one thing, they dun serve to boost my confidence. Full stop. End of the nonsense pls. Thank god it's my last day here... Until after O levels... LY said to me... 加油！要考好好回来... In a demure tone... I appreciate that... Thanx load LY!
Haiz~ Dunno izzit me or wad... Well shld be me la coz I'm the factor and this is the constant... Everything at DES seems so precious to me... For ONCE. The radio, the cds, the class file, the files of students, the rantings of teachers, the laughter of children, the cries of a little girl of ard age 3, the barres, the music, the melodious song, the pink skirts and leotards, the tight blue pants, the DES T-shirt, the pens, the papers, the carpet, the air con, the windows... I dunno why... I just feel that... It's my last time there... Although I noe that that is almost impossible because of someone...
Chinese dance lesson first. I was standing by the radio... And dropping hints to my students... Where to move how to move what to do what are the next movements what is the tempo... I wonder if they'll be alright w/o me... But at the same time... I'm actually glad that i can get away... Even though it's temporary... Maybe this will allow me to realise... although it can only be a small %, the good of DES...
Told Meiling lao shi that i won't be coming le... She seems to expect it... And Sharon lao shi as well... Well, what elso can u expect from a sec 4 girl?
I'm sorry Qing Wen... I noe it's in everyone to be talkative... Sorry that I scolded you so loudly... You all must be scared... I'm sorry... You all have not seen me like that before... I'm sorry... Pls forgive me...
Anyway... Ballet after Performing class... They can't remember anything at all... Neither can I. But at least after I listen to the music I'll be able to get it... More or less... Well... They're only P2 and P3... But I remember that time... Well... I'm like more sensible? Not boasting or anything...
I seriously dunno where on earth hell did I put that envelope... which contains examination fees of $35 and exam form of one the students... I dunno... I really really have completely no idea at all... Really... Thank goodness that this is my last time assisting... Or else I might lost the children next or smtg worse than losing money... (hmph... what can be worse?) I dunno... i might have sink into some form of hallucination or day dream or study plans that cause me to misplace the money... Dun trust me to do anything right when I'm in that kinda state... Meiling lao shi is really really nice... She paid twenty bucks for me while i paid the remaining... She's a really great and forgiving teacher... I think she noes that I'm stressed too... I'm carrying the burden of achieving great results and going to my dream JC... For no one but myself... Ok fine... I admit... 我自取的... I'm a damn perfectionist... But I'm not delusional... I want it to become the truth.
Hopefully...
Feeling down... I stepped onto the grounds of DES... It was raining... Which was why I stepped out... The rain was perfect... Especially for lonely and stressed souls... It's a good remedy, being drenched by the rain... However, the rain only lasted for less than a minute. I nearly cried for the short life of it... For the temporary existence... For my short enjoyment... For the incomplete process of cleansing souls out there...
Today, 15th of Aug 2004, my last day in DES, my temporary retirement starting next week... Or rather today... Now... Retirement from DES. Wonder... I really wonder... Why on earth do I feel so stressed up at DES? There's not much competition in terms of academic and stuff... But why will stress choose to pester me especially when I'm there? In DES? This is really strange...
I think i noe why... Everyone there... Everyone... Expects me to do very well for my Os... Will I? I really dunno... Who noes what on earth will happen? Only future noes it... But no one can predict future... All the showers of comments... What 你一定可以的啦！And all kinda useless comments... For one thing, they dun serve to boost my confidence. Full stop. End of the nonsense pls. Thank god it's my last day here... Until after O levels... LY said to me... 加油！要考好好回来... In a demure tone... I appreciate that... Thanx load LY!
Haiz~ Dunno izzit me or wad... Well shld be me la coz I'm the factor and this is the constant... Everything at DES seems so precious to me... For ONCE. The radio, the cds, the class file, the files of students, the rantings of teachers, the laughter of children, the cries of a little girl of ard age 3, the barres, the music, the melodious song, the pink skirts and leotards, the tight blue pants, the DES T-shirt, the pens, the papers, the carpet, the air con, the windows... I dunno why... I just feel that... It's my last time there... Although I noe that that is almost impossible because of someone...
Chinese dance lesson first. I was standing by the radio... And dropping hints to my students... Where to move how to move what to do what are the next movements what is the tempo... I wonder if they'll be alright w/o me... But at the same time... I'm actually glad that i can get away... Even though it's temporary... Maybe this will allow me to realise... although it can only be a small %, the good of DES...
Told Meiling lao shi that i won't be coming le... She seems to expect it... And Sharon lao shi as well... Well, what elso can u expect from a sec 4 girl?
I'm sorry Qing Wen... I noe it's in everyone to be talkative... Sorry that I scolded you so loudly... You all must be scared... I'm sorry... You all have not seen me like that before... I'm sorry... Pls forgive me...
Anyway... Ballet after Performing class... They can't remember anything at all... Neither can I. But at least after I listen to the music I'll be able to get it... More or less... Well... They're only P2 and P3... But I remember that time... Well... I'm like more sensible? Not boasting or anything...
I seriously dunno where on earth hell did I put that envelope... which contains examination fees of $35 and exam form of one the students... I dunno... I really really have completely no idea at all... Really... Thank goodness that this is my last time assisting... Or else I might lost the children next or smtg worse than losing money... (hmph... what can be worse?) I dunno... i might have sink into some form of hallucination or day dream or study plans that cause me to misplace the money... Dun trust me to do anything right when I'm in that kinda state... Meiling lao shi is really really nice... She paid twenty bucks for me while i paid the remaining... She's a really great and forgiving teacher... I think she noes that I'm stressed too... I'm carrying the burden of achieving great results and going to my dream JC... For no one but myself... Ok fine... I admit... 我自取的... I'm a damn perfectionist... But I'm not delusional... I want it to become the truth.
Hopefully...
Feeling down... I stepped onto the grounds of DES... It was raining... Which was why I stepped out... The rain was perfect... Especially for lonely and stressed souls... It's a good remedy, being drenched by the rain... However, the rain only lasted for less than a minute. I nearly cried for the short life of it... For the temporary existence... For my short enjoyment... For the incomplete process of cleansing souls out there...